These 20 questions allow us to evaluate ourselves to figure out if Nar-Anon might be right for us. Ask yourself the following questions, answering them as honestly as you can.
- Do you find yourself making excuses, lying or covering up for someone?
- Do you have a reason not to trust this person?
- Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations?
- Do you lie awake worrying about this person?
- If it is your child, is he/she missing school often without your knowledge?
- If it is your spouse, is he/she missing work and leaving bills to pile up?
- Are your savings mysteriously disappearing?
- Are the unanswered questions causing hostility and undermining your relationship?
- Are you asking yourself, “What’s wrong?” and “Is it my fault?”
- Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent?
- Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you may find?
- Are you canceling your social functions with vague excuses?
- Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home?
- Is concern for this person causing you headaches, a knotty stomach and extreme anxiety?
- Do minute matters easily irritate this person? Does your whole life seem like a nightmare?
- Are you unable to discuss the situation with friends and relatives because of embarrassment?
- Are you frustrated by ineffective attempts to control the situation?
- Do you overcompensate and try not to make waves?
- Do you keep trying to make things better and nothing helps?
- Are the life style and friends of this person changing? Do you ever think they may be using drugs?
If you have answered “Yes” to four or more of these questions, Nar-Anon may be able to give you the answers you are looking for.
What will I find at Nar-Anon?
You will find love, understanding, and hope in the NarAnon Family Group. People in the group may be experiencing, in varying degrees, the same hurt, anger, and anxieties you may be feeling. We come to Nar-Anon because we are burdened with responsibilities and feel we are alone. We come here to change the behavior of the addict but soon find that it is our own thinking and attitude that must be changed if we are to have relief. We find people in Nar-Anon who understand what we are going through and are ready to share their experience, strength, and hope to help us. In Nar-Anon, we learn how to live one day at a time; we stop projecting. We learn how to deal with our feelings of fear, guilt, obsession, anxiety, and denial. We look at ourselves and put our energy where we do have some power over the choices in our own lives.
As we begin to understand the family disease of addiction, we are better able to handle our problems and improve our own lives. We can gain support and understanding by listening and speaking with others at Nar-Anon meetings.