How do I work the Steps?
The simple answer: never alone, never again. If you work the steps alone, you bring only your own thinking and experiences to the process. Nothing new is added. Step Meetings have a multiplied benefit. The individual grows and the home group grows. The shares by people who have worked the steps have a richness and depth that is inspirational to the new member. They want more of what you have!
Here are some examples:
One Step each month as part of the regular meeting.
- Read the step and share around the room on that step. The advantage of this approach is that it is an informal process, mixing new and seasoned members together to share their experience, strength and hope on each step. Each person has time to share and time to listen. This format does not include the questions and deep thought of other methods, but it does keep the steps alive in your group meetings.
Share Partners (two or more people meeting together outside of the regular meeting)
- Small groups may answer the questions and share their answers during the meeting or discuss the questions during the meeting and bring their answers back to share at the next meeting. Homework done before the meeting requires each person to concentrate solely on their individual responses with honesty and willingness. When the share partners come together and take turns to share each answer, minds are opened to other experiences and ways of thinking.
Working the Steps with a Sponsor
- We encourage sponsorship within our groups, and suggest further Step Work, updating Step Work or deconstructing specific individual issues be accomplished through sponsorship. Step Classes teach the process. Living the steps develops sponsors! It is an individual decision to be a sponsor or to request a sponsor.
What materials do I need to Work the Steps?
Nar-Anon 36 is the CAL (Conference Approved Literature) workbook for doing the step study.
When should I start working the Steps?
It is suggested new members wait 3-6 months before starting the Steps. This permits time to become familiar with and understand the language of Nar-Anon. This provides time to get accustomed to the concept of sharing and listening, and the time to learn they can trust the protection and safety of the group.
Please see the above examples of literature that may be beneficial to the newer member who is anxious to learn about step work.
What if I am afraid to work the steps? What if I am afraid of what I might find?
What if I don’t know myself well enough to know what I think? What if I am not sure about all this spiritual stuff? Working the steps is a spiritual journey towards health and inner healing. We are seeking answers to our questions. It is a simple program for complex people.
It is always helpful to remember the slogans that have encouraging phrases such as: First Things First; Easy Does It; Progress Not Perfection; and One Day at a Time. We are embarking on a spiritual journey with, and in the loving care of the God of our understanding. Our Higher Power will guide us up those steps one at a time – one experience, one day, one moment and one understanding at a time. This is a gentle program because it takes time, introspection and acceptance. When we set aside the time to quiet ourselves, to think, to answer, and then to share, it is helpful to ask our Higher Power for help.
Often memories or experiences long forgotten will come into our awareness. It may be memories of how our actions, reactions or responses were first formed; old tapes that play in our heads, or consistent patterns of behavior from childhood or early adulthood. Understanding of past “whys” may help us see that current and future choices can be changed in a positive way. Willingness to try is all that is required to begin. There is much to be gained and much baggage to lose! A deeper understanding of our Higher Power grows as we move along this recovery path and begin to trust the process.
Does everyone in Nar-Anon work the steps?
No. The decision to work the steps is personal. Some members do the steps once, some several times over a lifetime, and some never engage in step study.